12.09.07
by Mike Farmer
I feel as though I have come to three different belief systems in my life.
The first was quite natural. As a child going to a revival in our Southern Baptist church, I felt a “tug” to go down to the front of the church during the closing of the service, the “Invitation,” because I knew I wanted to be baptized. I was a good Southern Baptist boy for a long time until I started to do theatre and people in my church couldn’t get past the idea that some of what I was doing was “blasphemous” (a direct quote from my church organist after seeing me as Jesus in Godspell) so I “shifted” to Methodism. Many Methodist churches have Drama Ministries. I’m thinking they’re not going to condemn it if they’re going to practice it as a means of reaching out to people, just not so many drunks at the cast parties as at the community theatre’s cast parties.
But my third shift has been toward an atheist-agnostic bent. I realize that Bad Things Happen to Good People, etc. etc. etc. but my belief system has failed me so utterly that I am now forced to believe that there is either an all-knowing, all-loving God who wants me to be miserable, or an all-knowing, all-hating practical joker God who enjoys seeing me be miserable. Since I’d prefer to believe that this whole she-bang is not run by some Divine Practical Jokester, I’d rather believe that there is no God at all.
I am interested in the book you eventually come up with and welcome the opportunity to discuss anything with you. Maybe I’ll come up with my own system of beliefs and call it Canine-ism, since I do see a glimmer of the Divine in my dog’s face.
Comment from MPJ: This one is interesting in that he makes claim to have gone through three stages. However, in most of the stories we have seen so far, the person moving to the next stage did so out of strength - a growing beyond the need for the prior one. But in this case the first move was done because people in the original faith were rejecting of his profession. And in regard to the second move, he only tells us that his belief system has failed him. He has known misery and so has chosen to believe there is no god who would allow this misery.
There is not nearly enough information to say what stage this story is telling us about. The comment of seeing a glimmer of the divine in his dog’s face suggests he may have elements of a Stage Four - very unlikely someone from another stage would say this - even in jest. But the motives for moving from one belief system to another do not sound typical….
Be sure to read the comment below that this person added himself after agreeing to let me use his story. He brings up an interesting point - which you can see has relevance to his situation: “What part does ‘convenience’ play in our choice of belief system?”
Comment:
I am interested in your blog and eventual book. I agree with you that we begin with something more restrictive (helping parents teach / re-inforce right and wrong) and that we move to a belief system that seems to fit a little more to the way we think. When I was baptized a Southern Baptist, drama was the furthest thing from my mind. But as I became first an amateur and then a professional actor, it was difficult to remain in a congregation that viewed what I was doing for a living as “second-class.” I wonder, though, if we don’t sometimes try to find a belief system that fits our lifestyle all too perfectly rather than finding a belief system that stretches us to sacrifice some things in the name of reminding us of why we believe what we believe. I’m thinking off the top of my head here, but bear with me for a minute.
If as an actor, I were to find a belief system based on the teachings of, say, George M. Cohan called “musicalism” which went so far as to have its services on Monday night when all theatres are “dark,” might that be just a little too convenient? It seems that my beliefs should force me some to haul ass (pardon the French) from Sunday worship service to make it in time for a Sunday matinee call just to make it all more important. Anyway …